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1、英語幽默笑話帶翻譯1:Amanwashitbyacabinthestreet.Hewasbroughttothehospital.Hiswifewhowasstandingupbyhisbed,saidtothedoctor:"Ithinkthatheisveryill.""Iamafraidthatheisdead."saidthedoctor,Hearingthis,themanmovedhisheadandsaid:"I'mnotdead.I'mstillalive.""Bequiet,"saidthewife."thed
2、octorknowsbetterthanyou!"醫(yī)生懂得多一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫(yī)院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫(yī)生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫(yī)生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫(yī)生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫(yī)生比你懂得多."2:Youcan'tgowithoutmeThebusisverycrowded.Amantriestogeton,butnoonegiveswaytohim.??"Hey,letmegetonthebus."themanshouts.??"It'stoocrowd
3、ed.You'dbettertakethenextbus."apassengersaystohim.??"Butyoucan'tgowithoutme.I'mthedriver."themansays.???沒有我你們走不了??公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.??"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.??"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.??"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.3:DrunkOneday,afatherandhislittlesonweregoinghome.Atth
4、isage,theboywasinterestedinallkindsofthingsandwasalwaysaskingquestions.Now,heasked,"What'sthemeaningoftheword'Drunk',dad?""Well,myson,"hisfatherreplied,"look,therearestandingtwopolicemen.IfIregardthetwopolicemenasfourthenIamdrunk.""But,dad,"theboysaid,"there'sonlyONE
5、policeman!"醉酒一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了?！薄翱墒?，爸爸，”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”4:HospitalityThehostessapologizedtoherunexpectedguestforservinganapple-piewithoutanycheese.Thelittleboyofthefamilyl
6、efttheroomquietlyforamomentandreturnedwithapieceofcheesewhichhelaidontheguest'splate.Thevisitorsmiled,putthecheeseintohismouthandthensaid:"Youmusthavebettereyesthanyourmother,sonny.Wheredidyoufindthecheese?""Intherat-trap,sir,"repliedtheboy.好客由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主
7、人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里?？腿宋⑿χ涯汤曳胚M嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。5:Dearwhite,somethingyougottoknow.WhenIwasborn,Iwasblack.WhenIgrowup,Iamblack.WhenI'munderthesun,I'mblack.WhenI'mcold,I'mblack.WhenI'mafraid,I'mblack.When
8、I'msick,I'mblack.WhenIdie,I'mstillblack.you---whitepeople,Whenyouwereborn,youwerepink.Whenyougrowup,youbecomewhite.You'reredunderth
