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1、301Wherethere'ssmokeNewYorkCity.Hometoonemillionexciting,eligible,singlemen...andfourcoldandslightlycrankysinglewomen.Well,thisisgood.We'reactuallycrossingwatertomeetmen.Reminder,IamnotgoingtoStatenislandtomeetmen.Iamgoingtojudgethem.Aperkofbeingaminorcelebrityisthatyougetinvitedtomajorev
2、ents.LikeNewYorkfiredepartment'sannualcal-endarcompetition.Thisisalongwaytogotowatchsomefire-mentaketheirshirtsoff.I'montheferry.Ibetterseemorethanpecs.I'mfreezing!Idon'tunderstandwhytheycouldn'tholdthecompetitioninabarinManhattan.TheyhavefiremenontheUpperEastSidetoo.Andtheyonlyputouttop-
3、notchfires.Lookathowsmallitlooks.Whowouldhavethoughtanislandthattinywouldbebigenoughtoholdallouroldboyfriends.Helovestocookandcanwhipupagreatbakedziti.He'sfromengine275,ladder133,wayoutthereinQueens.Ishehot?He'sasix.Onascaleofhowmany?HisnamewasBillKelley.Hewasadivorcedpolitician,campaigni
4、ngforNewYorkcitycomptroller.Andthetokenmalejudge.Watchthefiremen.I'mmoreintocops.He'sadancerandmarried.Sorry,ladies.HiswifeMariasaidhe'sagoodguybutheworkstoohard.Workthatbelly!Ladies,overhere.ok,theydon'tmakecosmopolitans,it'saStatenislandicedtea.IsthatlikeaLongislandicedtea?Ithinkso.Hell
5、o,I'mdrunk.Dowehavetobethisclose?It'sembarrassing.Yougottabeinittowinit.I'mmovingback.Ican'tseethecutefiremenfrombacktherewithoutmyglasses.Whydoyouevencare?YouhaveSteve.IdonothaveSteve.ThereisnohavingoftheSteve,we'rejustfriends.We'rejustfriends.Idon'tputmydickinyou.AnotheroneoftheseandImi
6、ghtletyou.Therearenodatablemenhere.Whatwasyourfirstclue?Thepleatherjack-etsorsmellof''Highkarate''?Ladies,thisisRickyFantucchi.He'saCapricorn.Hisunclesarefirefighters.Yes,ladies,that'sacheetahonhisarm.Rickyrepresentsengine53inLowerMan-hattan.I'dliketoshowhimmyLowerManhattan.Lookathisarms,
7、they'rehuge.Youknowwhattheysay.Bigarms...bigarms.Hello,911.I'monfire.Afterthecontest,IbegantorealizethatStat-enislandwaslikeaquaintEuropeancoun-try.TheAmericanmusicwas20yearsbehindandyoucouldsmokewhereveryouwanted.Hi.Arethoseshirtsareforsale?I'dliketogetoneformyneph
