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1、英文已如此搞笑,翻譯卻更加殘暴???????It’snotthefallthatkillsyou,it’sthesuddenstopattheend。跳樓的時(shí)候,“啊——”的時(shí)候還沒死,“啪!”那才是死了。????????1、IaskedGodforabike,butIknowGoddoesn'tworkthatway.SoIstoleabikeandaskedforforgiveness.???????開始我直接求上帝賜輛自行車。后來我琢磨上帝辦事兒不是這個(gè)路數(shù)。于是老子偷了一輛然后求上帝寬恕。??????
2、?2、Iwanttodiepeacefullyinmysleep,likemygrandfather..Notscreamingandyellinglikethepassengersinhiscar.???????我希望能像爺爺那樣,安靜地在睡夢中死去……而不是要像他開的車上那些慘叫滴乘客一樣死法啊!???????3、Donotarguewithanidiot.Hewilldragyoudowntohislevelandbeatyouwithexperience.???????你永遠(yuǎn)不能戰(zhàn)勝一個(gè)純SB,因?yàn)樗?/p>
3、會(huì)把你的智商拉到跟他個(gè)水平,然后用豐富的經(jīng)驗(yàn)打敗你。???????4、ThelastthingIwanttodoishurtyou.Butit'sstillonthelist.???????直譯:在這個(gè)世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是傷害你,但是這件事仍在我的考慮之列。???????a:我真不想傷害你,但你也別逼我。???????b:吾雖不殺伯仁,伯仁由我而死。???????5、Ifsexisapainintheass,thenyou'redoingitwrong...???????a.如覺嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛
4、,那是你操錯(cuò)洞。???????b.若XXOO是下體的痛,那么,是你操錯(cuò)。???????6、Theearlybirdmightgettheworm,butthesecondmousegetsthecheese.???????a.早起滴小鳥有蟲蟲!晚到的老鼠有奶酪!???????b.早起的鳥兒有蟲吃,早起的蟲兒被鳥吃。???????7、Weliveinasocietywherepizzagetstoyourhousebeforethepolice.???????在咱們這噶噠送外賣的都比警察來的快.???????8
5、、Havingsexislikeplayingbridge.Ifyoudon'thaveagoodpartner,you'dbetterhaveagoodhand.???????XXOO就象打橋牌。如果對手不好使,自己的手必須好使。???????9、SomepeoplearelikeSlinkies...notreallygoodforanything,butyoucan'thelpsmilingwhenyouseeonetumbledownthestairs.???????有些人就像Slinkies(彈簧玩
6、具),沒什么實(shí)在用處,但看他們在樓梯上倒騰來搗騰去還是很有喜感。???????10、Politiciansanddiapershaveonethingincommon.Theyshouldbothbechangedregularly,andforthesamereason.???????政客和紙尿布有一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)就是:他們都很有規(guī)律地被替換,而且因?yàn)橥粋€(gè)理由——臟了?。???????11、Wardoesnotdeterminewhoisright-onlywhoisleft.???????戰(zhàn)爭不能決出正義,但
7、能判出哪方出局。???????12、Womenmightbeabletofakeorgasms.Butmencanfakeawholerelationship.???????a.女人的高潮可能是裝出來的。但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是裝出來的!???????b.女人假裝高潮以獲取真實(shí)的感情;男人假裝感情以獲取真實(shí)的高潮。???????13、Weneverreallygrowup,weonlylearnhowtoactinpublic.???????我們永遠(yuǎn)不可能真正的成熟,我們只是學(xué)會(huì)在眾人面前裝逼。????
8、???14、Menhavetwoemotions:HungryandHorny.Ifyouseehimwithoutanerection,makehimasandwich.???????男人就兩種狀態(tài):餓和性饑渴。要是他不硬,就給他個(gè)三明治!???????15、Lighttravelsfasterthansound.Thisiswhysomepeopleappearbrightunlyouheart