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1、智課網(wǎng)TOEFL備考資料托福寫(xiě)作批改點(diǎn)評(píng)第17期:TPO綜合寫(xiě)作批改_托福寫(xiě)作Topic（題目）:Doyoungpeopleenjoylifemorethanolderpeople?Targettext（文章正文）:Neverdoesthetopic,referringtowhetherpeopleenjoylifemorethanolderpeople,failstoarousetheattentionofpublics.Withthetremendousdevelopmentwehavemade,Imaintainthatpeopleatthisdayandageen
2、joylifemorethanpeoplegenerationsago.Firstandforemost,decadesago,peaceissuchadesirablewordforpeoplearoundtheworldthattheycanonlydreamofitdayandnight.TaketheNanjingmassacreandholocaustasaconvincingcaseinpoint,whichtookplaceintheSecondWorldWar,millionsofJewsandChinesepeopleweremurderedcruell
3、yandmercilesslyduetotheatrocitiesmadebyGermanandJapanesemilitariesandfascists.Butlookatthepicturenow,duringthetimewhenChinasufferedfromWenchuanearthquakecatastrophe,hundredsofvariedcountriescometohelpChinagetoutofthetrouble.Thus,weenjoyourlivesmorefortheworldbecomemorepeaceful.Secondly,th
4、erapiddevelopmentoftechnologyelevatesourlifestandardtoagreatextent.Whenwelookbackontheolddaysthathumanbeingshadpassed,weareamazedatallkindsofhigh-techthatweenjoythesedays.WiththeInternet,peoplecanknowallthelatestnewsandinformationwithaclickonamouse,andwecanlistenmusicandwatchamoviewithout
5、steppingoutofthehousetolistentoaconcertandtogotothecinema.Moreover,wecantravelaroundthecitiestoparticipateinmoreactivitiesaswellascommunicatewithourfriendeasilywithacellphone.Howcanpeopleinthepastenjoysuchaconvenientandrelaxedlife?Furthermore,weenjoyourlivesmorebecauseofthebettermedicalca
6、rewehave.Themedicalskillismoresophisticatednowadaysandadvancedfacilitiesandequipmentshasbeendevised,weareabletoconquermanydeadlydiseasesnow.Forexample,theDNAtechnologyhashelptouncoverthesecretoflifeandempowerustochangeourselves.Incomparisonwiththis,forinstance,peopleinthepasthadbeensuffer
7、ingfromthesmallpox,whichisconsideredasanuncuriablediseasesthatkillednumerouspeopleeasily.Butitisnotaproblemnow.Inanutshell,peoplenowadaysenjoymorelifethanpeopleinthepassforthemorepeacefulworld,thedevelopmentoftechnologyandadvancedmedicalcare.Revisedessay（批改后）:Doyoun
